We're here. And it's really really great. I won't lie. The amount of sunlight is insane. I feel lighter here. Seeing the cousins joyful reunion was enough to last me for a while. This is life.

So much to say and no energy to really say it. I am achy and tired but happy. Peter is back in Washington to finish up the selling of the house and we miss him terribly. I think about how much I miss him and then I think of my Dad and how much I know my mom misses him every second of every day. What do you do without the other half of your heart?

It's strange to be in their house without him, although I feel him everywhere and look to his pictures for reassurance and peace. (I always hear him saying 'You're alright. You're doing great! Just keep going.") While I was vacuuming (trying to earn my keep!) this morning I looked at a picture of him and said "I'm here now, Dad." I surprised myself that I said it out loud.

The anniversary weekend was hard in so many ways. But we tried to make it celebratory. He would have wanted that. We drank champagne, we released balloons at his grave and talked about what we miss about him. We told story after story after story about him. We celebrated his life. More than anything, the fact that we were all together (minus P&G unfortch) made everything ok. I look around at all of these people whom I love so much and it is comforting that they know how great RMP was/is and I won't ever have to explain it to them.