I remember posting about this guy last year when he was losing and then lost his wife. I read his blog for a while and then just sort of wandered away.

It's been a year since she died. He wrote this post to her recently and my whole body went numb. It is really beautiful. And just another reminder of how bittersweet life is.

I don't know if it's coincidence that tomorrow is Thanksgiving that I am feeling so reflective. I don't think so. But I am grateful. Unbelievably so. There are people suffering so much more than I ever have or ever will.

We don't know what we're eating tomorrow. I haven't figured it out yet. It's just us and the kids barely eat anything so I guess I have just been avoiding shopping. I know the dessert (pumpkin crisp - thanks mom!) and have joked that perhaps I'll just make that.

On the one hand, it's nice to have the holiday just be us. To not be traveling. To not have the chaos. But I'm realizing that holidays aren't holidays without the chaos. Without "the circus" as my Dad would say.

I'll miss "the circus" this year. But I'm sure we'll have our own small, little sideshow version.

I remember snippets of Thanksgiving last year with tears in my eyes, as it was the last Thanksgiving with my Dad. We were all together at my parent's house. All of us. We have since said it was a gift. And I believe that. My Dad gave a toast, as he often did. He was the master of the toast. Eloquent. Relevant. Heartfelt. Funny. Always funny.

He gave me a book of poetry for Christmas 2003 and inscribed:

May the spirit of peace gently fill your heart and home with love and goodwill.

love, Dad

I wish the same for you and yours.

Emily