We served my beloved Peter breakfast in bed this morning for Father's Day: Eggs Benedict, hash browns, bacon and strawberries.

Peter loves hollandaise. Loves it. While watching him blissfully eat and moan with pleasure I laughed. He said "I don't think you understand my love of hollandaise."

I said "Yes, I do. It's your cake batter ice cream."

"YES! I would eat hollandaise ice cream." He grinned. Probably thinking about how to make it...

Happy Father's Day Peter. Every day with you is interesting, fun and filled with joy. Just when I think I can't love life with you anymore, something happens or you look at me a certain way and I love it even more.

Happy Father's Day to you too, Dad. I have been preparing myself for this day. There will be lots of preparing for this year of firsts without you. I have been anxious and sad about today actually. Sad that this is the first Father's Day in my life where I won't be able to wish you a Happy Father's Day. What has gotten me through it is the conversations I've had with you in my head and heart. You smile at me and tell me it's ok, that you're there and that I can wish you a Happy Father's Day anyway. I tell you I wear your sunglasses and that it makes me feel close to you. You tell me that you're ok and to take care of Mom. You do and say all of things that make me feel safe and happy. I actually feel that way just thinking about you now. I am so comforted by that. Happy to you, Dad. Happy to you.