It’s a weird day today. The kids are off, the weather is cold and darkish and we’re all just…meh. I keep sneaking away from the kids to have pockets of silence.

Last night at about 10 I took a sleeping pill and started to zonk out when I heard a cry. A weird animal cry really really close to my bed. I immediately shot out of bed. I was woozy and dizzy as you’re normally not supposed to take a sleeping pill and then jump about 30 minutes later.

I turned on the light and see Stan crouched over something near my dresser and hear the crying. I shoo him away from whatever it is and he is purring like a mad man and eyes all aglow, so proud of himself. I look down and it’s a beautiful brownish/grayish baby bunny. I gasped and ran to get a towel. I picked it up with the towel and turned it over to examine it. He was bleeding and had basically two holes in him. He was gasping for air. I saw his little mouth opening and closing, gasping for air. And then he stopped breathing and died. I bawled. I’m crying right now. It was just too much. A rat or a mouse is one thing but a tiny precious baby bunny was just too much for me. And to see it suffer and die was awful. PLUS, I wasn’t really even coherent because I had taken a sleeping pill so all of this seems like a weird dream this morning. In the middle of all of this, I called Peter and he was already on his way home. He came in and took the dead bunny away. Don’t know what he did with it. I put my sleeping mask on and fell back into bed. My mask was sticking to my face from the tears. It still seems like a dream but I’m still really traumatized by the whole thing. Then this morning I was taking the recycling out through the garage and found a dead mole. I’m so sick of dead fucking animals.

Also, as the whole world knows, they arrested JonBenet’s alleged killer. It made me think of Patsy and what a raw deal she got. Can you imagine? You daughter is killed and then for ten years people think you did it but you die tragically of Ovarian Cancer before being vindicated. Awful.

Blech. I have to snap out of this funk.

I’m bummed Alison got booted from Project Runway. Not that any of her designs really spoke to me or anything I just love her. I love her look and the way she speaks. There is something Drew Barrymore-ish about her.