Today was one of those days. I feel like every day is “one of those days” for me though. At 8:45am I thought “It’s only 8:45???” Blech. Sometimes I wonder if I’m constantly overwhelmed because I”m one of those people who is constantly overwhelmed or if I’m overwhelmed because I have Lupus or if I’m overwhelmed because I have THE busiest children in the history of busy children. They. Never. Stop. Perhaps a combination. I find myself watching other kids to see if they move from one thing to the next at warp speed like mine and I study the mom to see if she sometimes wishes she were single with a loft downtown and lots of free time…

We went to the Reptile Zoo this morning to hold snakes and look at alligators, turtles, spiders and other delicious creatures. It was a perfect day for it as it was dark and rainy. I again entertained the idea of getting a snake. I looove them. The 11ft Burmese Python is darling.

While Finn napped, Hadley and I lay in my bed and watched Nanny McPhee for the 2nd time. She watched. I napped. But to her credit she lay quietly next to me for the entire time. She loves that movie. So do I actually. It’s a lovely film.

This afternoon we were at a regular playgroup/early dinner thing that we do each week and not 6 minutes after arriving, Finn power pukes all over me and himself in the middle of the living room. Everyone jumps to help and I try to remain calm even though I want to cry. The rest of the afternoon is sort of a blur because I felt like I was just chasing Finn to keep him from ruining something or telling Hadley to stop whining for sweets or telling her to stop being bossy, hitting Ethan or throwing sand allthewhile trying to catch up with the other women. Lately I’ve just been feeling like I’m a shitty mom and my kids are ill behaved wildings. What’s worse is I don’t have the energy to do anything about it. I am absolutely drained right now. Drained. The kids are in the tub as I type, screaming. After I put them in there Finn dumped a ton of water out onto the bathroom floor and I just started to cry. I felt outnumbered, fatigued and beat. Peter is out with friends tonight so I’m on my own. They will both be in bed by 7:15. Mark my words.