I often think about when and or if Hadley and Finn read this. I wonder if they’ll ask themselves why I didn’t blog about every little darling thing they ever did. If they’ll ask themselves why I complained so much. Why I craved being alone or why I relished time with just Peter. I cringe a little when I think about that. Because it’s complicated. You don’t really think of your mom as being a whole person until you’re much older. Make sense? She’s almost one dimensional. Sort of like when the way you thought about your teacher. I thought she lived at school. Your mom is the same way. It doesn’t and perhaps won’t register for a long time that there is so much more to who I am than just being their mom. The fact that I have kids doesn’t define me. My world didn’t start when they were born. Even though this blog is not for them I want them to know how much I love them. How in quiet moments when they’re near me, warm and soft, I well up with tears for a minute thinking about how much I love them. To my perfect little people, if you are reading this, and are perhaps not so little anymore, and perhaps not so perfect (who is?) I tell you this from the bottom of my heart: You both are extraordinary. I will always be there for you. I will always be proud of you and I will always be your mama.