We took Hadley to see Nemo on Ice yesterday while Finn stayed with a sitter. She was thrilled and when the show started she gasped and said “I can’t believe my eyes!” It was the cutest thing. It was impressive I guess, if you’re three. I entertained myself with an internal dialogue which consisted of topics such as: Ice skaters have amazing asses, the food at stadiums will give you a heart attack and how horrifying it is that a snow cone is $12.

At a hockey game there are usually 2 or 3 guys selling beer and popcorn running up and down the stands. At this thing there were probably 10 or more guys it seemed per section, yelling prices and waving over priced glittering Nemo crap in front of my 3 year olds glazed over eyes. It took her a while before she finally got sucked into the vortex of consumerism and said “I want Cotton Candy!!!”

“No, you don’t even like cotton candy.” I said glaring at the zitty 19 year old who was waggling it in front of Hadley. The cotton candy was $10 only because it came with a flimsy plastic Nemo hat that, no kidding, was worth a quarter.

There were merchandising booths EVERYWHERE. Even on the OUTSIDE of the place, there were 6 card tables set up with people yelling “LAST CHANCE!” What the Fuck? It was horrifying. I waited for Hadley to say “Where’s my special treat??” but she didn’t. If she did say something like that, I had my response all ready. “The EXPERIENCE is your special treat. Being alone with your parents for the day is your special treat.” But alas, I will save that speech for another day. I’m not a total asshole. I know that little kids want the crap to go along with the show they just saw but I really couldn’t bring myself to do it. Plus, Hadley didn’t really seem to care either so that made things a WHOLE lot easier. Disney will get their money from the Provosts when we take H&F to Disneyworld and skip through the happiest place on earth ripping up money.