I saw this illustration and loved it. A well rested woman, fashionably dressed carrying fresh flowers and bags from her recent shopping trip while toting her agreeable darling cherub. HA! I wish. Cut to me now and I am wearing Peter’s boxers, an XXL paint stained long sleeved t-shirt from RACE FROM THE CURE 2001 and Peter’s ski socks. It’s a good look. After mucho coffee this morning I am determined to make these urchins have a grand day. Despite pain in the knees (shocker) when Finn wakes up we’re going somewhere fun. A new park perhaps.

I can’t get that Pussycat Dolls song out of my head. “Don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?” I just keep singing the chorus and randomly Hadley shouted out “NO, mommy! I don’t want your girlfriend to be like me.” Okayyyy. It goes back and forth between that song and “Starry Eyed Surprise”.

Saw the doc yesterday and we went over my MRI results. Nothing. Yup. Apparently, sometimes pain can be felt before anything shows up on an Xray or MRI. Interesting, eh? Also, because I’m so newly diagnosed (less than a year) things will probably continue to come up for a while. So, I’m trying to have a good attitude about it but am still frustrated. We discussed pain management and when she said “Are you familiar with Percocet?” I smiled but was careful not to be downright jubilant. No need because when I said “Yes” she said “Well, I’m going to prescribe something that’s similar but not that.”

“Oh,” I thought a little deflated. As long as I’m in pain I might as well have that euphoric high that Percocet delivers so well. She gave me Ultram and sent me on my way. I took one before taking a nap yesterday afternoon (TAYLOR DAY – WHOOO. It goes without saying it was a good day) and I have to say that I just felt stoned. No real pain relief. That is the frustration. While the “high” is nice…drowsy, floaty, woozy, like a nice buzz…it doesn’t take away the pain. As Peter says “It just makes you care less.” When Peter got home I was going over the doc visit verbatim and he was like “Whoa, you look stoned.” He’s terrified that I’m going to end up one of those housewives on Oprah who pops pain pills to get through the day. No need to worry. It would never happen. I like to be clear headed and “up” too much. He loves to be “Pill Police” though. Asking to see the bottle of pills so he can read all about it and keep close tabs on me. It is so great that he cares so much and dotes on me, even if he does act like I’m a junkie.

We also talked about how I want to switch from Methotrexate because I want to have a friggin glass of wine if I want. (Currently I am allowed one drink a month. Methotrexate is really hard on the liver so boozing is not advised) I phrased it as my quality of life being diminished, which it is. (Do you sense a theme here? Prescription pain killers and booze?) Anyway, I had my argument all ready but she just agreed saying that she wanted me to be comfortable and happy. So the switch is on to CellCept, which is a drug they give to transplant patients for the prevention of organ rejection but very commonly used in Lupus patients to suppress the immune system. This means more pills…ugh but I’ll deal. I inject Methotrexate once a week and with the CellCept I have to take 2 pills a day. Hopefully there won’t be much drama surrounding the switch. We’ll see. They still have to monitor me closely through blood work because apparently CellCept can alter your red and white blood count. Blah blah blah…

Watched Kathy Griffin and So You Think You Can Dance last night. While savoring the delicious garbage Peter innocently asked “Um, when are we going to watch good shows? You have to give Firefly another chance.”

POP.

That’s the sound of my reality TV delicious goodness bubble being popped. I did quickly recover though and remember that it is only fair blah blah blah…Firefly is in my future.

I love love love Kathy Griffin and my mama bear instinct kicked in when Jay Leno made her cry on last night’s episode. I was even surprised by my outrage. It was akin to someone saying something about your family that everyone already IN the family says but if you’re not part of the family you can’t say it. Make sense? I don’t find her particularly attractive but think she is brilliant and sweet and real. BUT no one else can say she’s not cute. Her husband is a doll. I love how they’re constantly saying how much they adore each other. That’s when I look at Peter and say “If you’re randomly on a reality show will you talk about how much you love me?”

His answer is always “Uh huh.” Smart guy.  Of course when he’s saying how much he loves me he will be in a full canoodle with Dell, that bitch. His affair with her continues and I’m just glad she doesn’t put out or we might have a problem.

So you think you can dance is just American Idol with dancing. I love watching people dance. It makes me wish I could dance and these kids make it look so easy. My favorite is this little street dancer who is so cute and has NO formal training. NONE. He’s kicking ass and I’m putting my money on him to win.

Hadley is sitting next to me “working”. She has “written” 5 or 6 “letters” on white computer paper with a black permanent marker, and put them all in different envelopes. I forgot how old she is and how just yesterday I was writing about her doing the things that Finn is doing now. Crazy.

I hear the boy up. Duty calls…