…Ok, I snuck away from the girl. She is 4” from the TV sucked into Barney.

Now, back to business. Late afternoon before returning to real life I got a Pedicure. 49 minutes after I returned home we were all in the kitchen when Finn threw a toy and it hit my big toe, ripping polish off, and hurting I might add. I threw myself on the couch near tears talking about “It’s symbolic! I can’t have anything for myself!!!” I’m laughing now as I type this because I’m such a fucking drama queen but at the time my pain was real. Peter, who who deserves an award, calmly says “Honey, calm down. The place is still open. Go down there and have them fix it before you go to Yoga.” As if channeling Hadley, I sniff a few times and then quietly say “ok.” Why does he put up with me? Oh wait, I know. Because I rule. While he is the most darlingest man to have ever walked the earth he is not void of annoying habits either. I am on the look out for THE LOUDEST CHEWER contest because when I see it, I will enter him, he will win and then we will all retire on the winnings to Bora Bora.

So, I got the toe fixed but then I spent the next 90 minutes in Yoga worrying that I would screw up the toe again. What a loser. Yoga was still lovely. The body buzzing/euphoric glow after yoga can’t be beat. Speaking of the nail salon though, I love the ladies there. They are so sweet and do a great job but I really wish they wouldn’t chatter so much to each other in Korean while I’m sitting there. It brings to mind that Seinfeld episode where Elaine said the same thing but seriously. I think it’s rude to prattle on in another language when you have “guests” because their worry is that you’re talking about them! I’m sure they’re just talking about TV, or their kids or whatever but I’m thinking that she’s leaning over to her friend saying in hushed tones “Um…Jesus! You think she could have shaved her legs!!!” I worry about that for a nanosecond and then I’m transported to Bliss, USA as she scrubs my feet. Scrub away, lady.

I settled in to watch So You think You Can Dance last night and because the auditions were in LA there were a lot of street dancers, hip hop dancers and breakdancing. A lot of dancers were “Crumping”. Peter looks up from Dell, who he had been whispering sweet nothings to, only to say  “Crumping? I thought that was pooping?” I laughed “Man, you are OLD!” I laughed. He has been making hilarious comments like this lately. All he needs is a cane, glasses and old man shoes. We then dove head first into a conversation about what “crumping” was. I knew it was a type of street dancing because I’m cool like that but I also had heard “crump” from John Reidy (and Bec) who refer to the jiggle pocket under the belly button on many woman as a “crump”. Peter refers to it as “Big Mac” or his grandma does actually. Meg P. and I call it “the Ute” (pronounced “Yoot” short for Uterus). Anyway, it was a funny conversation and made me laugh until I had to buckle down and concentrate on the show while I freebased my Drumstick ice cream with caramel in the middle. Uh huh. I know you’re jealous. Speaking of chocolates and candy goodness, I would like to go on record as saying I do not enjoy the Junior Caramels. They are not the fantastic representation of Candyland that Junior Mints are and I shan’t invite them over again. I’m sorry but you’re not on the list.