Just watched Showdog finale I was bummed for a bit that it was over but then remembered SportsKids Moms and Dads. Thank God.

Kyra is retarded. I’m convinced. I really think she is developmentally delayed, which makes the whole dog trick thing all the more fabulous. Her dog can do great tricks, plus she’s retarded! Call Special Olympics!! When she got in the limo at the end and shouted out “Kyra and Chalcy forever!” Oh. My. God. Hi, you’re a grown up and you just said that out loud on national television. SENIORS RULE! Have a kickass summer!! I also wince every time she’s talking to Randy, or leaving him messages since she mysteriously can never get a hold of him. There is no familiarity when she talks to him. She’s always extremely uncomfortable and never calls him “babe” or “honey”. It’s always “Randeee” (annoying voice). Their relationship is bizarre.

Connie and George are the cutest. I love that they got re-married in Vegas with the dogs. Connie was wearing hideous shoes and called the place “classy” which made me laugh because the minute you call something classy for some reason it loses any class that it had. Make sense? Perhaps I just hate that word. It’s always being used oxymoronically too. Example — A Classy Burger King. Or A Classy Call Girl.

Moira didn’t really redeem herself and still remains a pushy stage mom. Now poor Adam has the Dad breathing down his neck to be a quarterback too. Sweet Jesus. Can’t the kid just be a Mathelete and be done with it? They’re going to forever push him.

Brandon and Ryan were hilarious and dramatic as always. I’m fascinated by Brandon’s ability to cry on cue. Huge crocodile tears come out of that kid’s eyes at the drop of a hat. I want to go see if that store High Maintenance Bitch is even still open in downtown Seattle. The website is really well done and looks like it has tons of cute stuff if I was one of those people who feels the need to make my dog look like a hooker. And I’m not.

I still adore Lourdes. I can’t believe that woman got another dog. A newfoundland no less, which grow up to small furry horses. Eeek.