I feel awful today. Awful awful. The type of awful where my skin hurts. I feel nauseous and exhausted. I'm happiest sitting or lying down because I have such bad vertigo and I just want to sleep for days. I have plunked both children down in front of a Baby Einstein video hoping to God they will remain interested and quiet for the full 45 minutes.
I find it ironic that the days I feel the best, they are angels. The day I want to die, they are demons.
It annoys me I feel sick too. I have felt glorious for a few weeks now and was secretly hoping that Lupus made a hasty exit and I was miraculously cured. I know that sounds ridiculous but it does enter my mind. It's irritating because feeling this way just reminds me I am at the mercy of this stupid fucking disease. Ugh. I hate having no control.
posted on Wednesday, April 27, 2005 11:11 AM