Meg, Claire and I are going crazy about the Bachelor. Here are my (our) gripes:

• First and foremost, Charlie is dumb. Aw. Poor dumb Charlie. I nearly fell out of my chair when he was talking to “little Sarah” (grown women should not be referred to as “big” and “little”…so bad…) and he said “My brother was in a movie called Stand By Me in Oregon. I went to Rodeo Camp there.” Uh, hey Charlie? Those two sentences have NOTHING to do with one another and just end up embarrassing you.
• Couldn’t you find some adults to fence with? What is Charlie, the 30 year old doing hanging out with his 12 year old girl next door neighbor. Red Flag.
• The date with Anitra was priceless. She would say “I like to eat” and he would respond “Really? I always forget.” “I like to read.” “Really, I don’t.” “I love email.” “See, I can’t type” She handled herself really well and left with her dignity.
• Sarah W (sigh…allright allright… “Big Sarah”) said “Class-trophobic” two times.
• Sarah W is slowly becoming a psycho. What was she doing at the rose ceremony? she freaked out when she got a rose and completely embarrassed herself. I don’t know if it’s clever editing or perhaps she is going crazy before our eyes and the series is going to end with her in a straight jacket being hauled off to the looney bin.
• Krissily is the worst name ever. It sounds like an adjective used to describe wrapping paper or wedding cakes or something.
• I think Sarah B should win because she seems like a really nice girl. However I just read her bio and she wrote this about her greatest achievement to date: I have developed my independence, I'm self-sufficient, and I've found my relationship with Christ. Hm. It makes me suspect when people toss around the word “Christ” especially since when Charlie asked her if she goes to church she was like “Well, no, not every week”. Don’t lie, little one. Especially if you’re all buddy buddy with J.C.

I continue to be bored with American Idol but will not turn away for fear that something will happen and I won’t know about it. God forbid.

• Dear Ryan Seacrest, Stop calling Scott Savol, Scotty “The Body” Savol. It’s weird and creepy. However, this week I think they sat him down and told him he was white because his look changed.
• Constantine bugs. He tries too hard.
• I heart Bo Bice. I think he’s darling.
• Vonzell is darling too. She did well last night.
• While Carrie has a phenomenal voice she seems stiff.
• Anthony Federov bugs me but if I was 11 years old I would think he was AWESOME! WOOOO! Andover Junior High LOVES ANTHONY!!! WOOOO! So I understand his commercial appeal.
• Anwar bores me. Boring boring. I fantasize about jumping on his back and cutting off those braids. C’mon Anwar. Lenny did it!

Yesterday was my darling Labrador Atticus’ fifth birthday. Happy Birthday my chocolate brownie fatty boombalatti!

I was emailing with my friend Karrie this morning and she told me something that is so damn funny. Karrie and her husband Taiji walking into the butcher shop. As they were walking in, a midget and a fat adult get on a john deere riding lawn mower that’s parked in a parking spot to leave. The midget stops, points at Taiji and says, “Look Dad, a Chinese man.”(like Taiji is this freak of nature that he’s never seen before). This, coming from a midget that rode to the butcher shop on a riding lawn mower with a fat guy.

HA. People are crazy.