Yesterday morning we were all going stir crazy and my husband decided the cure was a drive...anywhere. Not feeling well but deciding to humor him and buck up, I agree. It was dark as night in dreary Seattle and there was nothing else to do.

We pack up the munchkins and all of the crap that goes along with them and head out onto the road. Hadley immediately starts asking questions and whining "Where are we GOING???" We calmly try to tell her we're just driving and to lay back and rest her eyes. As this suggestion only seems to piss her off, I sigh deeply thinking we made a mistake and wonder when this "enjoyable drive" will be over. At least Finn is sleeping.We laugh when she says "I want to go somewhere Cooah". "Coo-ah" I think? What is that? Oooohhhhh. COOL. Our daughter wants to go somewhere cool. Good God.  Peter takes great delight in the fact that Hadley has a hard time saying "ool" words and gets her to say "School is Cool", which he thinks is hysterical. Schooah is Cooah.

We drive and drive eating chips Peter picked up while getting gas and continue to tell Hadley we're having fun "just driving" while she continues to try to convince us we need to stop at the store to get her a present. (where do they get this?) Peter decides to stop at Everett Port or something. It is cold and dark out at 2pm but I continue to try to be positive and shiver through my smile. We walk along the pier, looking at boats and scraggly seagulls much to Hadley's delight. 14 minutes later the fun is over and I am really cold and have to pee. We decide to get back in the car and find a gas station. 3 gas stations later and still no bathroom. What gives? It's like a conspiracy. At this point I'm really squirming. Finn is crying now and from the back seat we hear a little voice say "I have a raisin in my nose". I see a Denny's sign up ahead and tell Peter to go there as I twist my body into the back seat and tell Hadley not to do or touch ANYTHING until we stop and I can get the raisin out of her nose.

RE: Denny's

I hate the place and don't know what possessed me to want to go there other than the fact that it was the first place I saw and I KNEW that my daughter would be better behaved than half of the ADULTS in the place so I wouldn't have to worry about stares and glances from kid haters. I mean, it's DENNY's after all. A pleather laden crap hole that hasn't changed it's dishes in 30 years.

RE: Raisin in Hadley's nose

I've only heard of this kind of thing in the movies or TV so it was sort of amusing that I had a real live case of it wiggling in my back seat.

We pull into the parking lot and I jump out of the car and fling open the backseat. I tilt her head way back and push on the tip of her nose and the raisin shows it's little face. She really crammed the thing up there. This is where long nails come in handy. With the raisin out and Hadley delighted that her little science experiment worked, we head into Denny's.

Peter and I probably said 6 words to each other the whole time because we were too busy taking in the scene that is Denny's. The table next to us was a literal hotbed of action. This is the story we put together in the car later after we had both eavesdropped enough to fill an entire notebook:

The big guy was marrying the big schlumpy woman who really should have looked in the mirror before she left the house. There was lots of talk about the wedding, which sounded a little scary. He was going to throw a "plastic ball and chain" instead of her garter,because she wants to keep the garter to "preserve it". Same thing with her bouquet. She's going to throw a plastic one so they can "preserve" hers. Her bridesmaids are going to wear slip on converse that they're going to cover with lace and bows. They had two little boys at the table who kept calling the big schlumpy woman, "mom". They were darling and very well behaved. There was an older big man at the table who grunted through most of the conversations but would occasionally add profound statements like "Well, you know how people are". I think he was the big man's dad judging by how the big man was trying to impress the older big man with talk of his new graphic design sign business and how they wanted to get into pageants because you can make a "killing". Then there was a skinny guy on the end who had orange hair and looked like he was out too late the night before. He barely spoke and honestly I couldn't figure out the relationship to the others. I did notice that he picked up the check though.

With all of the copious mental notes I was taking I didn't notice anything else except I know that my grilled chicken salad was not just straight up grilled chicken. Denny's has a way of making EVERYTHING taste greasy. Don't get me wrong...it was good in a big fatty greasy kind of way but it wasn't just grilled chicken. That chicken danced around in 2 cups of oil or something before they fried it and then try to pass it off as grilled.

Laughing on the way home Peter and I decided that the whole afternoon was better than staying at home. Hadley never did fall asleep in the car and continued to ask where we were going and when were going to stop to get her a present.